A good day all around.

I broke in my new grill tonight with BBQ chicken and hot dogs. Throw in some potatoes and a ‘suddenly salad’ and I was off to the races with happiness. The grill worked well, I like the new grates over my old ones and the thermometer on the outside of the lid let me know when it got up to temperature. Now I have to plan on smoking my pork butt this weekend…

So many jokes about pulling my pork...

So let me tell you about the BBQ I went to on Father’s day... my good friends sister was there and she had on what I would call a completely inappropriate dress for the event.  It was basically a shirt, only longer, and every time she sat down or bent over she had to be careful to keep it down. But there were kids there running around and she played with them some.  It went up high enough on several occasions that I knew she either had on a high thong or nothing at all under it. In my head there was nothing under it  ;)

Not the same girl but I think thats the same dress from old navy... 

What is your favorite MEAT dish?
Vegans need not answer!

I might die tonight….

So tonight I am going for a run... I have picked out a nice route that starts with a 5 minute walk to get up a nasty hill near me and then a 2 mile circuit back to my house…  It could be fun! Or I could have a massive coronary.

MAN DOWN!!!

I will (hopefully) update you on my status tomorrow, until then I present you with a few of my favorite things… 

1) Pour 1.5 Oz over a little ice and shake to chill. Serve strained in a rocks glass

the original and still the best

2) From the Dominican Republic

At least thats what my wrappers say  ;)

3) New York style is the only style.

I could die in a cheesecake factory. 

How about you? Favorite liquor, smoke or food?

Stripper on my deck...

Not this kind of stripper!

  So I stripped the old stain off my deck and am going to put down fresh this weekend.  It was a HUGE pain in the ass but totally worth it, the deck looks SO much better. When i fell back into a chair out in the sun soaking wet and tired, i did want to smoke, but luckily I don't have any so it only lasted for a second. Now I am looking on Oriental traders for some 4^th of July supplies, a need American flag bunting and other items of USA Pride.

So right down the street (like 5 miles) from my house in the great state of North Carolina is this sign:

You are safe until you hear banjos

That in and of itself is not that big of a deal, but right past that sign is this store:

I am going to be spending a ton of $$ here this year. 

They don't just sell the kiddy bottle rockets and sparklers here, SC lets you buy fireworks right up to the size where the federal government steps in to call them a weapon. 

Have you ever had the joy of letting off real fireworks? Ones that go THOOM when they light and BOOOOOM when they explode!

Let me explain my current state of happiness.

This is "Running naked through the streets" Happy...
(Dont get excited Jessica I am a middle aged guy on the other side of the planet!)

My twin sons started their first week of summer vacation yesterday. My wife is a teacher so she is home with them all summer. Next fall they will start kindergarten. So this will be the first year I don’t have a day care payment!! What, that is not impressive to you? Lets do some math....

I took and passed calc-3 in college and today couldn't even remember the basics... 

Daycares in my area run $150 – $225 per week, Not bad for a facility that watches your child for 6 – 10 hours a day, feeds them a meal and two snacks, and builds the educational and social foundation that will set the tone for there entire life. We picked a nice middle of the road priced facility that had higher educational standards. So I was paying $190 per week, per kid. That’s $380 a week… $1520 a month… with eight weeks off a year that’s $16,720 PER YEAR that I have been paying for the last 4 years and now I don’t have to anymore!

Ya its sort of like this

So with my extra money I purchased my first gift to my self last night: 

5 BURNER GAS GRILL WITH SMOKER

Primary cooking area 554 square inches

Secondary cooking area 140 square inches

Total cooking area 694 square inches

5 Stainless steel tube burners

10,000 BTUs each/50,000 BTUs total

12,000 BTUs stainless steel side burner

10,000 BTUs rotisserie burner

Porcelain-coated cast iron cooking grates

Porcelain-coated wire warming rack

Includes smoker inside left door

7,500 BTUs stainless steel smoker burner

Adjustable, chrome-plated cooking grates

Electronic ignition

One of the sexiest things I have ever posted on here.... 

What are YOUR plans for the 4th of July?

(Yes I know that is a very ethnocentric question but 90% of my audience is from the US so it is fair, but a big shout out to who ever it is from Brazil that keeps popping by!)

I lost track of the days….

Well on Friday it will be 4 weeks since I threw away the last of my smokes. I stopped in the gas station on the way to work today and didn’t even think about smokes so I am definitely moving in the right direction.

Secret: This is one of my favorite shows of all time.

Speaking of the right direction let me tell you about some hamburgers I made last night. These were absolutely the best burgers I have ever made at home, bar NONE.

1) I made my patties good sized, right about 4 inches in diameter and ½ inch thick.

2) Heat up a skillet to a good medium high and toss the burgers in, once they got a good brown crust on each side (about 2 minutes per side)  pull them out of the pan and set on a cutting board.

3) Pour the grease out of the pan and return it to the burner. Now add in a whole can of Campbell condensed French onion soup.

4) As soon as it starts to boil return the burgers to the pan, reduce the heat to low, cover and let simmer for 5 minutes, flip the burgers and cover for 5 more minutes.

5) Add Swiss cheese to the burgers and cover while you prep your buns.

6) Take your roll and add mayonnaise to the bottom slice, lay a piece of American cheese over the mayo lay the burger with its melted Swiss cheese on top of the American cheese add ketchup and the top roll…

Enjoy being whisked away to heaven.

Thats hot.

And I got a product suggestion from another blog out there... 

The Original ThinkGeek Annoy-a-tron

The Annoy-a-tron generates a short (but very annoying, hence the name) beep every few minutes. Your unsuspecting target will have a hard time 'timing' the location of the sound because the beeps will vary in intervals ranging from 2 to 8 minutes. The 2kHz sound is generically annoying enough, but if you really really want to aggravate somebody, select the 12 kHz sound. Trust us. The higher frequency and slight 'electronic noise' built into that soundbyte will make a full-grown Admin wonder where his packets are.

For my boss.

I hope you are all having a good hump day!

Have you ever eaten so much that your back hurt?

 For some reason today I have been hungry non stop. I had a breakfast burrito from jack in the box for breakfast, then I got to work and found we had Dunkin Donuts so I had a sour cream donut, then a coworker brought me in a chicken biscuit from chick-fil-a. That was all by 10am, so then on lunch I ran an errand and met some coworkers at Salsaritas where I had a Steak queso burrito with chips and salsa, then in the afternoon I had a Chocolate donut, and for dinner I had Outback Steakhouse cheese fries a wedge salad a baked potato and the 9oz filet crusted with blue cheese. That is like a 4 thousand calorie day…

I feel like this guy right now

So, now I am making plans for tomorrow. Coaching Baseball all morning and then I will be doing intensive yard work all day. Mowing, edging, and weeding. Trimming my trees and bushes back and working in my garden. If I keep my self less than 2K calories and do all the work I have on my list I should be able to offset today.  And at least be back on track to getting into shape.

I can look like him, I just need the girl... 

After a huge dinner, with a few drink specials in me, getting in my car and driving home was the most I have wanted a cigarette in weeks. The full stomach, the warm evening air, being in my car, having a few drinks in me... That was a little piece of hell.

 Uggg I am going to go sleep off these margaritas.

3 margaritas